Pause

I paused the other day and realized I was living the life I had seen other people live but somehow thought I would avoid - a messy, complex life, full of joy and grief at the same time, with no easy answers or resolutions. I was living in the gray, my black and white filter being rendered useless at the first hint of adult life. I am learning that compassion and compromise are not negotiable. What a messy, messy life. Who knew it would be like this. I find and lose things, I find and lose friends, I find and lose myself. I am not the constant I imagined growing up into.I try and live in the occasional kind moments. I remind myself goodenough, goodenough, goodenough. Live in the goodenough, stay, be kind, be here.