A Borrowed Imagination

I was going through some old writing and blogs and I found a bunch of things that reminded me of who I was and where I was and how far I've come in some ways (and not in others).

Diwali ki Badhiyaan

I'm back, back and back. I have Netflix in the background, caffeine in me and the laundry done. Take that jet lag (I don't think I get jet lag but it is a good substitute word for my regular tiredness for a week). It was an exciting trip and eventually it flew fast. I met friends and family. The wedding was so, so much fun. I danced my heart out and simply couldn't get enough. It was full of love, laughter, jokes, sunshine, music and booze. All great ingredients for any celebration. It also helps that I have lost my shyness and can enjoy the moment.

A Jigsaw Piece in the Wrong Puzzle

I'm home. I am not sure if I am home but you know what I mean. I am typing this on a scrunched up tablet keyboard. I chose to not get my laptop this time, a wise decision for my travel. It was one of the smoothest trips I have had, if only for my obsessive planning. Nasal spray, face mist, fleece booties, pouches for EVERYTHING.

Millionth Move (Is Hopefully The Charm)

I have moved yet again. I am asking the universe to let this be the last move for a while. Everything aches, mainly because I am so out of shape and climbing the stairs a couple of times with boxes has undone all my muscles.

Moving, moving

This is it. The first phase of Chicago life is over. I have a second phase and that is great. But summer is almost over. I can't believe that I am moving yet again. Not once but twice. Once in Chicago and once from Minneapolis. It is heartbreaking.

Endless

I found an old piece of writing from a long time back:

It is raining endlessly here. I am told it is raining endlessly in Delhi as well. It is so lovely, so soothing that it makes me happy. Everything is moving, in action. This isn’t a city that is stopping for the rains. It is moving, buzzing, reveling in them. People sit, stroll by, even dance at Worli Seaface and Marine Drive. 

It is what it is

House hunting is truly the worst. I spent 7 hours on buses and trains after a day that started at 5 am and at 5 houses and came home and had a complete breakdown. Things are looking up since then. It didn't help that I've had a couple of crazy early days and somehow timely breakfast has not been part of any of these.

Things

Public art seen downtown

Suddenly there is lots going on and I don't have any words anymore. I have to pause here and update. As I was typing, my pizza delivery arrived. It has been A DAY and I needed a pizza and a chocolate shake. I walked out only to see crime scene tape on our building, police officers and cars. It was 'an active crime scene' - someone got shot and something happened. Everyone, including the pizza delivery guy and my flatmate, was so casual. I'm in no danger, its just a first. Being in Chicago is interesting and a far more realistic slice of life in urban America than Minneapolis. Earlier in the evening, from the bus stop I could see firemen and police arrive and check on a seemingly unconscious man and ultimately load him into an ambulance. At this point, I've seen gambling on the L-train, cigarettes being sold and a bunch of other stuff. I no longer see them as random things. They are visible manifestation of urban poverty, often racially concentrated. These are results of a structural and violent system.

Snapshots

So far I have loved my time in Chicago. It has been exactly what I needed after graduate school. The adventures I am having are just the right size for my expectations right now. Some days they involve getting drenched on a boat tour; on others they are heels that I wear and practice as a child playing dress up would. Someday I will write about wearing heels and the pain and fun of it all. I have been a lifelong flat wearer. But every once in a while I will enjoy heels. Meanwhile, I soak the bustle of a big city.

Checking out Chicgao

Views from the Ferris Wheel at the Navy Pier

It has been roughly three weeks since I moved, two since I move to the new house and one and a half since starting work. I have had neither the time nor the energy to explore much, preferring to use my evenings to=recharge and recover from all the moving. I've learned over the years that moving is draining, not just physically but emotionally as well. There is a toll to be paid, whether I acknowledge it or not. Usually I don't pay heed to the sadness. But this time I did. I acknowledged that it would take me some time to get used to Chicago because I was not ready to leave Minneapolis and I had to. I think that did me a world of good.

Rainy days, summer days

Via Edwardmonkton.com

I've moved into YET another space. It is actually rather nice, has a window in the room with great natural light. The house has a back porch and more importantly a functional washer-dryer. Laundry is important for the soul. It is furnished and I have only had to buy minimal stuff such as linen and an incense-holder and lots and lots of chocolate-flavored cereal. The rain has been almost constant these last few days. The more I move, the faster I have learned to feel settled in. The frills fall away and I am slowly stripping to the bare essentials of what I need although there is a still long way to go in that process.

Summer life

I could tell you of the roomhunt that has taken me all over the city, sixteen hours in the trains, to a sketchy basement and a place where Internet didn't work, to neighborhoods where even sadness was shuttered. I could tell you about almost finding a place close to a beach but then it didn't work out. I could tell you about the delays in things, about the heat in a fanless room and the windy days. Summers in this country are strange for me - one day you sweat your flesh off, the next the cold wind whips you till you are indoors. If you sat for longer, I'd share with you the loss I feel at having left Minneapolis. It has just started to feel like home. I miss the softness of my bed, its wheel rolling predictably, of the calming creaks of my ceiling fan.  The incense that was mine, all mine. The comfort of the cool, bare wooden floors, sighing ever so lightly under my weight. Resting my cheek against the window, raindrops splashing lightly in the moonlight. Of the walks I took on familiar routes.

Packing zen

Travel is always an adventure. As is packing for it. Over the years, here are some of my feelings about packing for travel, compiled for your convenience in the form of a list:

• I will forget something. Even if it is a safety pin. Such is life. Let it go. As long as I have documents that identify me, it will be fine.
• Travel checklists are a pain to make the first time but can be super useful in subsequent trips.
• Wearing multiple layers of clothes to reduce baggage weight is NOT a good idea. It will mostly only overheat you and make movement hard.

Bittersweet

I am slight denial about moving, as if that would change anything. The weeks have flown by. Too soon, too fast. Same as ever. Life.

Schrödinger's cat

It is time to move, once again. Only temporarily though. I would both like to and not, a bit like Schroedinger's cat I imagine. To avoid the usually chaotic outburst that is my suitcase on arrival, I have been packing things in trash bags and labeling them. "Miscellaneous", "Socks", "Scarves" are some of the categories. There is an entire box full of supplements too. Adulting involves a healthy diet and then some. It involves moving alone, yet again, yet again. M has left town and it feels strange, surreal. I think this is the weekend where I am in denial about my trepidation about moving and sadness about people leaving, graduate school and other things ending. I've been really good at keeping it under control, putting out all the fires. But not this weekend. I have spent most of my time in bed this weekend.

Look no words!

This was the week in which I not only spent several hours on a still plane, I also was on a SuperShuttle, a flight, a train, a taxi, a bus, a MegaBus and an Uber cab in the span of 17 hours to get from Minneapolis to Chicago and back. Now that it is over, I'm still in a little bit of shock and I don't quite have a lot of words. So here's updates in pictures: 

This is my absolute favorite picture.
This toddler is having a tantrum in the White House.
Epic.

View from a bus stop in Chicago.
It was an overcast day.

Tarmac Tales

We all have those flights. The ones where you clap when you take off and then when you land. One day after graduation and I am headed to New York for our capstone project presentation. It is exciting but I also really want to nap and figure out the rest of my life. It is a cold blustery day. I decide to take a bus and the train instead of a SuperShuttle to economize as an unemployed student. My suitcase almost gets blown away on the street, my hair is whipped into a tangled frenzy. 'Summer' in Minneapolis is here.

Travel and other irritating things

(I was looking for a document and found a piece of irritated writing from a recent trip)

I have forgotten my charger; this is new, usually it is the adaptor that I forget. It happened during my trip to Ahmedabad in the winter and I spent a night in a hotel room, unable to use my laptop, and starting to grasp that I am partly fighting a losing battle. No matter what I remember, there is always that one more thing.I try and be so careful, I make lists and lists but everything fails when I switch bags. It is always a bad move and I am blaming Spirit (for some reason I keep calling it Sprint) airlines. I am en route to a new city, for an interview, and I am nervous. 

Chicago

This was the week of a whirlwind trip to Chicago, a city where I have never been and got to spend far too little time. I had gone for a group interview for something I have applied for and it was a good experience. I was anxious, because I haven't really done a formal group interview, and wasn't sure what to expect. I went in telling myself that I would learn from the experience, as nerve-wracking as it may seem. It was funny, everyone's name tags had color codes on them, reflecting the degree programs they were in (MBA, Education) but my International Development got none. Sadface.

Ahmedabad

View from Gandhi Ashram

My time in Ahmedabad has been far more intense and interesting than I imagined. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, especially considering I arrived at the start of an event that completely takes over the city with its sheer magnitude, in a week with important local and national holidays, and no meetings set up in advance. That being said, it has still been productive. Work-wise I have been able to learn new things, chat with some interesting people and get started on thinking in a particular direction.