Fraud Indian Woman

So I dug through the archives and found this. I wrote this but never shared it? I think it was probably because of it doesn't seem to make a clear point, just ask questions. But I still find it a useful compass, even if it is two years later. 

At this stage in my life, I find I have no choice but to talk about gender or being a woman. I am not going to get into how I am at this point or stage in my life but I find that I have to speak. There are so many levels on which I am tired of seeing how the world works against women. In this I include both men and women. It is not a one way street. As I moved to Minneapolis, I found myself navigating expectations of how I should be both as an 'Indian' and 'Indian woman'. I am not the first nor the last person to do this. I am just talking about my experiences, which for the longest time I have held back from sharing because I wasn't sure if there was anything new in it. That being said, not being new doesn't make it any less important. I have also often wondered how is it that people reach a point of incredible frustration and disappointment with stereotypes and expectations. I get it now. It is the timeless story of the last straw breaking the camel's back. You reach a point where you cannot take it one more time.

The Blues

One of my Chicago resolutions is to find and watch plays and shows and other kinds of performances. I've heard about the Blue Man Group show for several years and I saw billboards in Chicago. Tickets are kind of pricey but I was able to get an almost half-price ticket from Goldstar for a day show. Going for a day show is important and you'll see why in a segue later in this piece. So the show. The show is very entertaining. It starts with advice to text your bff, update your status, read wikis and more.

Blue Stockings

It has been a while since I saw any plays. Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis had a good thing going for a while, where they gave students discounted tickets but alas no more. They have something for under-30s but I haven't really checked it out although I should probably take advantage of offers like that while I can. I've seen some interesting plays for really cheap tickets and once even for free right in front of the stage for a phenomenal play whose name I don't remember now. I recently had the chance to watch Blue Stockings at Guthrie for a Gender and Policy class I am in. We decided to go a few weeks ago and at that time it had seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do. 

Links from the WWW

Here's two pieces on gender that I read today and would encourage you to as well.


http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/11/17/casual_sexism_when_a_shirt_is_more_than_a_shirt.html

“So yeah, it’s just a shirt.

And it’s just an ad.

It’s just a saying.

It’s just a TV show.

It’s just the Internet.

Yes, but you almost make as much as a man does.

It’s just a catcall.

It’s a compliment!

It’s just that boys will be boys.

It’s just that she’s a slut.

It’s just that your dress is too short.

It’s just that we want to know what you were wearing at the time, ma’am.

It’s just it’s just it’s just.

It’s just a death by a thousand cuts. No one cut does the deed. In the end, they all do."

http://www.livemint.com/Politics/llQdMpUC1fLMxKV04r2MCK/Genderbased-violence-is-an-epidemic-in-India-Kate-Gilmore.html

"You can’t talk about one in three women experiencing violence at least once in their lifetime, in intimate partner relationships, and say it is other than an epidemic. "

What does it mean to be a good man? A good man does not have to beat a woman, he seeks consent for sex, he wants his partner to have access to a nurse and a doctor during pregnancy, a good man wants his children to understand their bodies."

Why talk about gender?

One of the aspects I felt was most neglected in terms of preparing teams for fieldwork was addressing issues of gender, race and more. These are topics that make the best of us uncomfortable and I think it often seems that a classroom setting isn't the best to have an honest conversation. My definition of what an honest conversation is a moving, evolving one but in recent times I think of it as one where we are okay speaking about the 'bad thoughts' that we have. The idea should be to generate constructive counterpoints and of course, there needs to be a base in a desire to change. I guess I see little point in saying "I dislike so and so because they are such and such and I will believe this till I die."

Suggestions welcome

I am working on a piece to understand what motivates women to seek an international graduate education. I'd like to speak to both current and past students (who are studying/have studied outside their home country) and have a chat to learn more about why they made the choices they did. I'm starting to ask around and if you'd be interested in speaking with me or guiding me to someone, I'd greatly appreciate it! I'll be happy to give more details if required. Thanks.

My two bits on the Delhi Metro

Source:
http://respectwomen.co.in/life-of-a-woman-in-delhi-metro/

I vividly remember my first encounter with the Delhi Metro. It had been recently set up and made functional (especially the blue line which I was using) and I decided to use it to visit a book fair at Pragati Maidan. On the way there or back, I can’t remember clearly now, I recall sitting in a busy coach. A man was uncomfortably close to me and coming closer. I was younger then, and perhaps rash, so I gave him a few swift kicks to remind him that this was not okay. In retrospect my behavior is not very commendable either, but I forgive myself because I have let things slide in such cases more than I wish I had. This man started yelling brazenly ‘this lady is hitting me’ and it did not seem like if things escalated, anyone would help me out (notice the word rescue purposely not being used).

After that I stopped using the metro during rush hours and then pretty much all. I was hardly alone in feeling that unwarranted touching and ‘accidental’ brushing was going on during busy hours and otherwise. Soon the Delhi Metro launched a ladies compartment and I think it changed the face of the metro. I don’t think of transport as necessarily gender neutral. Especially not in India, where gender issues are a big problem. Traveling in crowded spaces for women means dealing with not just the regular annoyances of being cramped or pushed or having to board and deboard moving vehicles risking your life but also dealing regularly with the gropers and molesters. You have to pick your battles especially if travel is part of your daily routine. I don’t think you can spend all your traveling time fighting and possibly screaming and shouting. Especially when you know help is not always forthcoming.