Survival tips 101 (from a second year perspective)

This really is Dear Young Me sort of note to myself when I started grad school. But perhaps others can benefit from it as well!

• Learn to say no. There is always an organization, an activity, a party, an event that you want to get involved with or go to. But there is only so much time and so much sanity. Learn to say no (here's an interesting perspective on why saying no is important)

• If you are the kind of person who schedules things in (I often tend to plan for every hour, if not minute, of the day), pencil/type/whatever you prefer time in for yourself. It is a good reminder that you need to pause and pay attention to yourself.

• Plan for fun activities. Sometimes things happen spontaneously, but more often than not I found myself wishing I had made a plan to enjoy part of my weekend out and regretting not doing so. Make time to go and just catch up with people, outside of classrooms/schools etc.

• Sometimes grad school can feel fake - I felt a lot of the conversations in my first year were fake, I felt like there were cliques, like I didn't fit in etc etc. I dealt with it in a couple of ways: if I felt out of place at a meeting, I tried to raise the point, to see if it was just me or maybe others felt that way too. I started spending more time with the people who made me happy. I tried to use my time in a more authentic way and finally I stopped expecting too much. I have come to the conclusion that if people want to be kind, they will be (I have lots of examples of this but the most heartwarming one of this is of a friend who invited me to her family's celebration of Easter and it was one of my warmest days ever)

• Stop overanalyzing stuff too much. But also be considerate and open-minded and recognize that not everyone takes similar paths to similar goals (I struggle with some of this and have to constantly remind myself). Pay attention to people. If someone seems distressed, ask if they want to chat. You never know what a difference it makes.

• Many of us feel like a fraud: recognize it happens, take ownership of it, and plod on. I have never felt as ignorant and stupid as I am in one of my classes this semester. But I am reveling in it for now, because it tells me I am learning a lot (let's see how I feel at grade time).

• Eat. Eat well. Eat healthy. Get lots of health snacks (carrots, almonds, fruits) and keep them with you so when you feel hungry, you don't always eat pizza or chips. I have recently started eating cereal out of a bag in classes.

• Find some, any form of exercise. This feels impossible, counter intuitive and suchlike, but is a wise investment in yourself. You are beyond just your grad school persona. Someday you will be thankful for it. Swim. Gym. Bike to school. Do yoga in the privacy of your room. Whatever works for you. But do it. See it at par with school work, no less.

• Finally, consider prioritizing your life first and then grad school. For me, making that decision has helped cut down some of the fluff and stop complaining when I am very busy, because I am choosing to be that way.